after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
What drink are we having for lunch?
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
