She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Randomize
