I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
it's like heaven, but drunker
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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