i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.�
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
