my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
