it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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