break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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