Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
you never un-have a 4some
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
