he wants to bone in the snuggie
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
