just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
