so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Damn victory sex feels great
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
