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D3 body, D1 cock
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Randomize
