i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Randomize