HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
