grandma shit on top of the toilet
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.�
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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