Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
