I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
