Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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