You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
