holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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