Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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