the new term for farting is butt boxing.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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