was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I need a hoe opinion
go on
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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