Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
