i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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