the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
