so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
how do you play pong handcuffed?
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Randomize
