Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I have aggressive nipples.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
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