Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Welp...herpes.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Randomize
