Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize