I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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