I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
My ATM looks so different sober.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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