Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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