My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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