i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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