Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
