No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
