Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Naked Twister starts at high noon
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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