i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Randomize
