Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
