so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Randomize
