He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I love having hate sex.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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