if you like me you must not know who I am
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Blood and glitter go together right?
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
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