He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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