there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
