You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.�
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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