It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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