Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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