The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
We had sex on a dog bed..
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
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