Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
